At 26, I recently found myself hiding under my sofa bed, laughing like a child again, during a house party. This moment of pure joy made me realize how rare it is to reconnect with the carefree whimsy of childhood—and how important it is to do so.
We were having some drinks at my house with my closest friends and fiancé. As a group, we enjoy party games, board games, playing cards, etc., but the night took a fun twist when someone suggested hide and seek. Half-joking, we all agreed and started playing a good old-fashioned game of hide and seek.
The Rules:
• No leaving the house.
• No hiding in the attic (too much effort).
And so it began—round after round of hilarity and jump scares, with every possible hiding spot claimed. I was under the gaps in the sofa bed, trying to hold in bursts of laughter as the seeker moved around, cracking jokes to catch someone out and border collie (Meg) sniffing everyone out. It was the first time in a long while that I felt giddy like I did as a child. I was instantly reminded of my younger self, around 10 years old, the boy who loved playing hide and seek with my older brother (Steffan) and cousins (Natasha & Krisdan), always begging for just a few more rounds.
Since that day, I’ve been trying to attract more moments where I can let my inner child out. A while back, I was introduced to Dungeons and Dragons (D&D), but I had no idea how to play or if I could find a group willing to dive in. To my surprise, this same group of friends was all for it. We started with a simpler game called Mausritter, which is like D&D but for mice, using tiny creatures to experience a grand world of adventure. It allowed me to get comfortable with the idea of storytelling in this format, without the pressure of getting everything right. Later, our friend Dale took over as the Dungeon Master, and we moved on to the classic D&D.
I was hooked. I found myself watching hours of YouTube videos, texting ideas to the group chat, building characters, creating lore, and prepping in whatever time I had after work. Every session brings back that childlike excitement, and it’s freeing to know that it’s okay to be a little silly, to make mistakes—because none of it matters if everyone is having fun. D&D has become more than just a game for me; it’s a way to escape the seriousness of adulthood and tap into the creative freedom I had as a kid.
Recently, though, our D&D sessions have slowed down. Life gets busy, and finding time for five or six adults with different schedules is tough. It’s bittersweet. The gaps between sessions can kill the momentum, but when we do manage to play, the joy is overflowing. It amazes me how playing games, like hide and seek or D&D, can shift my perspective on how seriously we often take life.
This past week has been tough. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by my responsibilities, especially with a task I’m completely out of my depth on—redecorating our bedroom. To most, it might seem like a small job, but for me, my anxiety blew it up into something huge. Mistakes felt like monumental failures, and my panic escalated. I’ve cried, had panic attacks, and felt utterly lost, like a scared kid who’s too afraid to ask for help. 26 years of age, and I still had to cry on my mum’s shoulder because things weren’t going quite right. It made me realize that, even as an adult, some feelings don’t change—they just resurface in different ways. The fear of messing up or disappointing those you care about doesn’t disappear with age; sometimes it grows.
As a child, I always believed that one day a “switch” would flip, and I would instantly become an adult—someone who had everything figured out. But I’m realizing now that being an adult doesn’t come with all the answers. There’s no rulebook or step-by-step guide to getting things right. Most adults are still winging it, which is both daunting and comforting.
The reason I’m reflecting on all of this is to help heal the inner child in me, the part that struggles with fear and responsibilities. It’s okay to not know how to be an adult. It’s okay to ask for help. Everyone around you is in the same boat, trying to figure out this complicated life. And there’s comfort in that. Not everything has to be so serious. We can make time for the joys of our younger selves. Tell the silly joke, play the wild games, laugh without holding back, and create space for fun with those closest to you. They’re the ones you can trust to keep you grounded.
Finding that balance between responsibility and joy is key to growth and self-compassion. It is essential. Adulthood comes with its share of challenges, but we don’t have to take them on so seriously or face them alone. By allowing ourselves to ask for help, to laugh, and to embrace moments of play, we can soothe that anxious child in us. Joy and fun aren’t just for childhood—they’re vital parts of life, no matter how old we are. I encourage you to reconnect with the things you loved when you were young. Let the passion of your younger years help ease the pressures we face every day. Don’t bottle up the fear, letting it spill over into panic and tears. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to ask for support—even when it feels like you should have everything together.
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